You are not an Indian if you have never owned an Indian car! Everybody knows what I'm talking about, one snow tire on the front, a radial on the other front tire and two different tires on the back
The lights only work on dim, your antenna broke off, so you replaced it with a coat hanger. It never came with a set of keys so you touch two wires together to start. A flat tipped screwdriver will open the trunk and you can only get in on one side of the car.
The hood has some fancy dents in it to testify to the forty-nine that nobody brought a drum to.
Some plastic and duct tape will cover the window that would cost more to replace than the whole car is worth. The gas gauge doesn't work, so be sure and carry a bleach bottle just in case.
Don't forget to buy all the discount K mart oil you can because it takes a half a quart a mile. Never mind buying plates, the title is about six owners behind you. Just making it look like a title receipt in the window will do for awhile.
Everyone cringes when they see you because they know you'll either need a jump or push. If you're late for work, or an appointment, you can always say, "I had car trouble," and the boss or whoever will understand because you drive an Indian car!
Don't fret about the front windshield being broken with all the spider web lines in it. We all had to have worn tape on broken-up eye glasses at one time or another.
Last, but not least, let's not forget about the bumper stickers! "Indian pride on the move," "My car is a Cadillac," "This car stops at all Indian bingos," "You toucha my car, I breaka you face," "Custer wore Arrow shirts," and "Don't laugh, I'm ahead of you, ain't I!"
When it finally gives up the ghost, you grace your front yard with it. When someone approaches you to buy the car or some parts off it, you say, "I'm gonna get it going again, it just needs a different motor."
The truth of it is, that old beast is pretty hard to part with because it took you halfway across the state the last time you were out for a few drinks at the local bar. ... You bothered all the shade-tree mechanics from one end of the rez to the other ... to fix it, but as soon as one thing is fixed, something else goes wrong, but never enough to keep it off the road very long.
Indian cars never die, they just park! You can let the dog sleep in it or store extra commods or put your favorite junk in it for future use.
When your next Indian car starts giving you trouble, you can look over in your yard and say, "Jeez that was a really good car!"
INDIAN CARS NEVER DIE! THEY JUST PARK!